Masturbation is something most people do on their own – but it can also be an incredibly intimate way to be close to your partner. Masturbating together not only creates pleasure, but also builds openness, trust and understanding of each other’s bodies. Whether you’re curious to try it for the first time or want to deepen an already existing habit, this is a beautiful path to both pleasure and communication.
Sharing your own pleasure can feel revealing, but also liberating. It can be a way to get to know both yourself and your partner better – for real. This guide gives you ten warm and safe tips for how you can masturbate together in a way that feels natural, respectful and pleasurable.
Table of contents
- 1. Why masturbation together is so powerful
- 2. Start the conversation – create safety first
- 3. Start slowly and without performance
- 4. Masturbate side by side
- 5. Look at each other and learn through eye contact
- 6. Masturbation as part of foreplay
- 7. Explore sex toys together
- 8. Take turns guiding each other
- 9. Talk afterwards – what felt good?
- 10. Make it a natural part of your sex life
1. Why masturbation together is so powerful
Masturbation with a partner is not just a sexual expression – it is also an emotional one. When we dare to show how we enjoy, what we like, how we move and let our bodies be the center of attention without a filter, we also open up to vulnerability and honesty. That is where trust grows.
For many couples, this is a way to get to know each other in depth – and to reduce performance demands. It becomes a place where desire can take place in a soft and undemanding way.
2. Start the conversation – create safety first
Before you start, take the time to talk. What are you curious about? What feels fun? What feels nervous? The more you open up before , the easier it will be to relax during the moment. It's completely normal to feel a little unsure – but safety and respect make all the difference.
Be clear that nothing has to happen, that it's okay to laugh, to pause, to say "this doesn't feel right right now". When you know you have the freedom to be yourself, your desire also grows.
3. Start slowly and without performance
Masturbating together shouldn't feel like a show or a requirement. Start with something simple – maybe you're lying next to each other, maybe you're holding each other's hands, maybe you're just touching yourselves in silence. The important thing is to let everything take its time.
You don't have to synchronize your movements or reach climax at the same time. Masturbation is an individual experience – but here you get to share it, on your terms.
4. Masturbate side by side
Masturbating next to each other without touching can feel unexpectedly intimate. It gives you the opportunity to observe, be inspired, and understand each other's rhythm, movements, and expressions. You may learn things you've never seen before—little details that make a big difference later in your sex life.
This can also be a safe first step for couples who haven't tried it before. It's relaxed, free, and you decide for yourself how close or distant it can be.
5. Look at each other and learn through eye contact
If it feels comfortable, eye contact can make the experience even more intense. There's something incredibly beautiful about watching the person you love while they're pleasuring themselves. It says, "I see you. You can be just the way you are. And I think that's beautiful."
It strengthens both attraction and security – and sometimes also communication in other parts of the relationship.
6. Masturbation as part of foreplay
Masturbating together can be a great foreplay – either for sex with each other, or just as a sensual moment you share. It builds tension, increases blood flow, and creates mental closeness.
You can start by caressing yourselves, then each other, then maybe switch roles. Or just enjoy the moment as it is. No stress. No goals. Just two bodies breathing in time.
7. Explore sex toys together
If you want to take it a step further, you can introduce sex toys . Maybe you use a vibrator while your partner watches. Maybe you massage each other with a wand. Or you each try out a toy and discover completely new types of stimulation.
Exploring together shows that you are curious, confident, and open to each other – something that strengthens both your sex life and your relationship in general.
8. Take turns guiding each other
An exciting way to get to know each other's bodies even better is to take turns giving instructions . "Watch how I do it. Try it on me." Or: "Touch me like this. I like it." That way you learn what the other person enjoys – without guesswork or uncertainty.
It also becomes a way of giving each other validation. Saying, "This feels good to me. I want you to know that." It creates intimacy at a deep level.
9. Talk afterwards – what felt good?
After the moment – talk. What felt good? What surprised you? What do you want to do more of? Or less of? Reflection is just as important as the experience itself – it’s where you deepen your understanding of each other and lay the foundation for next time.
It strengthens the bond between you. And it makes you feel even freer next time.
10. Make it a natural part of your sex life
Masturbation together doesn't have to be a one-time thing. It can become a cozy part of your intimacy – one that you return to when you want closeness, without demands or performance. As a way to just be, together. A soft place to land in each other.
The more you dare to make room for different types of sex and closeness, the stronger your relationship will be. Masturbation with a partner is just one of many ways to connect – but it's one that can mean more than you realize.